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Sooo this is gonna be a kind of long rambly journal

Basically, the time has come for me to start making decisions about my future. I've started working on the Common App and I'm going to have start creating essays for colleges and applying for scholarships...but the problem? I have no idea what I want to do. I don't know what I want to major in, I don't know what college I want to attend, I don't know what I want to be.

Well, that's what I've been telling everyone, anyway.

Because the truth is I DO know what I want to do, but I'm too afraid to pursue it: performing arts. I play the violin and won some talent show performances before, but even more than that I'm into the acting aspect. I've loved doing drama all the four years in high school I've done it and acting means more to me on a personal level too. Whenever I felt lonely or upset or what have you I turned to my favorite characters in my favorite shows and all I could think about is how I'd love to do that someday, how I'd love to bring a character to life like that. I don't even care about fame; if I could just make a steady living acting I would be so freaking happy.

But that's just the thing: making a steady living off the acting profession is really freaking hard. Nothing's ever guaranteed and not even super talented people do well all the time. This is doubly true because of the economy and the job market being so terrible and everything.

What makes it worse is that I don't even know if I have talent. There are lots of great things about living in a small town but also a lot of bad things -- such as having zero opportunities for things like acting. I do drama club in school and compared to the other kids in school I seem pretty good, but I have no idea how I compare everywhere else. So even if I DID decide to go for it and become an actress I don't know if I'd have the skills to win auditions or get into a school and what scares me even more.

I guess it's just hard because I've thought and thought about this and there aren't any other jobs I want to spend my life doing. We even took this career quiz in class that's supposed to show what jobs we're best suited for and guess what? I got performing arts.

I dunno. I wouldn't be hesitating at all if this was a job that I know I could be successful in. But choosing a career isn't as simple as "follow ur dreams!!1!" because if I want to be independent and not still living with my parents when I'm 30 following my dreams isn't going to be enough. I just want to be able to do what I love while making a living but even a goal that simple is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought and I just

ugh ;_;
  • Mood: Worried


Artist | Student | Literature
United States


The above ID was made by my amazing friend linkieoftermina <3


My (nick)name is Vera, and I'm 17! Writing, art and music are my passions. I really love cats, and oreos are my favorite food.

I consider myself decent at art and writing, but obviously I have a lot to improve on, so I'm always open for critique. ^^

That's really all you need to know about me. Have fun browsing through my gallery and profile!



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I used to have commissions open but I'm just too busy! So now this donation pool is only here in case anyone wants to donate out of the goodness of their hearts :P

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Add a Comment:
luner-tigher Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014
thanks for the watch =3
vera-san Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student Writer
You're welcome ^o^ Is all your stuff drawn with a mouse? Because that's incredible!
luner-tigher Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014
yes it is all done with a mouse =3
and thanks X3
D-Scrolls Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

Hello <33

How are you??
Please im lonely and its 1:30am
and I have to be up at 7 for bandcamp but I dont care
So lonely
So very lonely
Vera pls Ily
vera-san Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Student Writer

I'm good!! I'm assuming you're at bandcamp by now but I'll still ask how are YOU?? School starts for me in exactly 10 days...not looking forward to that D;
D-Scrolls Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

Ahha Im good. Recovering from an asthma attack at bandcamp still but yea xD
I start in 25 days xD Im actually extremely excited shh
vera-san Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Student Writer
Oh my goodness are you okay?? I mean I guess you're ok if you're replying to me but aaah I hope it wasn't too bad of an attack! D:

But hey, being excited for school is good! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you like school, all the more power to ya! Since it's my senior year though I'm just so ready to get it done so I can leave and go to college xD
(1 Reply)
D-Scrolls Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
vera-san Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Student Writer
Heyyy 8D
D-Scrolls Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
How are you? X3
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