Pokemon Protagonist Misadventures: Trick o' Treat

Pokemon Protagonist Misadventures -- Trick Or Treat!

It was October 31, and all of the Trainers were ridiculously bored.

I mean, if you were the main character of a video game, YOU'D get pretty bored after the ending, too. Imagine being a hero of an entire region and becoming the Champion of it…then having nothing to do for the whole rest of the time.

As the Trainers lounged lazily in Diamond's villa, looking rather unimpressive despite their grand titles, Black spoke up. "It's Halloween, guys," he said. "We should go Trick-or-Treating!"

The others looked at him witheringly.

"We're too old to go Trick-or-Treating," Sapphire complained. "I mean, c'mon, I was ten TWO GENERATIONS ago."

"But we still look ten," Gold pointed out. "We never age. Like that creeper Ash guy who's like twenty and still travels with young girls. Anyway! If we just make cute faces and try to look as chibi as our sprites do, then POOF—"

"Whoa, did one of my Pokemon just forget a move?" Leaf asked, scrambling to reach her Pokeballs.

"—then POOF," Gold repeated, ignoring her, "we get all the candy we want!"

"But," White said, "it's dangerous for us kids to go out at night unsupervised, isn't it?"

Everyone agreed that it was indeed dangerous.

"But we've done worse," Diamond added. "I mean, traveling around the Pokemon regions on foot, stopping professional crime organizations with only elemental monsters, constantly talking to strangers along the way, and ALWAYS accepting gifts from these strangers is MUCH worse, isn't it?"

Everyone stared at Diamond.

"Are you Slowpoke in the head or something?" Platinum asked. "How could that possibly be dangerous? We're totally setting a great example for kids everywhere!"

Red finally stood up and swept the room into silence with his eyes. Then he gave an almost imperceptible nod and sat back down.

"I think Red's plan is good," Soul said, though she really didn't need to translate. Everyone already knew what he said. "Travelling as a group will keep us safe. As long as we don't go to N's door," she added. "N's a creeper."

Red gave another small nod.

"Red always thinks up the best plans," Kris said. "6 o'clock it is. Everyone meet back here at Diamond's villa and be ready to get some candy!"

The Trainers immediately dispersed for the afternoon.

***

At 6 o' clock sharp the Trainers returned.

"Dude, what's with the getup?" Gold asked Red with a snicker.

Red had dressed himself very elaborately as a Pikachu.

"We're Trick-or-Treating, aren't we?" Ruby asked, confused. "He can dress up if he wants to, can't he?"

"We're already dressed up. As ourselves. It's like automatic cosplay."

Knowing he had been rejected, Red turned around and walked away without a word.

Everyone let out a silent sigh of relief. Red was just a little bit too creepy. No one knew what went on in that boy's head.

"So," Gold declared, taking charge, "are we ready to go?"

Everyone nodded, and they set off.

…they were lost in less than five minutes.

"You had better tell me where we are this instant!" White commanded.

"We're somewhere," Gold told her. Oh, Gold, I never cease to amuse myself.

"Thanks, Mr. Specific," Kris snapped. "Your detailed description astounds me."

"I was rather eloquent, wasn't I?"

"Figures," Platinum grumbled to Diamond. "Of course I had to get stuck in the woods with this group." She sighed. "I hate my life."

"I hate your life too," Diamond replied.

"I'm such a genius!" Gold declared to no one in particular.

There was a long pause before Kris asked, "…was that sarcasm?"

"This isn't as fun as I thought it was going to be," Leaf admitted. "So far, we haven't even hit any houses. Gold just got us lost."

"It's not MY fault I happened to inconveniently leave my PokeGear at home!" Gold wailed. "Why does everyone blame everything on me?"

Then there was silence for a few minutes before they finally noticed some lights up ahead.

"Land ho!" Black shouted. "Candy ahead!"

They stampeded towards the houses.

The first neighborhood house looked friendly enough. A string of orange lights surrounded the deck, and there was a large inflatable Duskull in the yard. The group crouched stealthily behind a clump of bushes as they plotted their next move.

"I'll go up the house," Gold said in a harsh whisper. "I'll knock on the door. When someone answers it, I'll knock again on the side of their porch railing. One knock means it's safe. Two knocks means it isn't. Three knocks means I'm not sure yet –"

"And four means we need a better system," White interrupted. "Got it."

Gold scurried up the door and knocked.

A large Muk answered the door. "Mua ha ha ha ha ha….BWA hahahahahaha!"

Gold screamed and fled from the house.

The other Trainers decided to take advantage of the situation and quickly ran to the owner of the house, who had taken off his Muk head piece.

"Sorry, kids," the man said. "I guess I scared your friend pretty bad. Here, have his share of the candy."

The Trainers grinned among themselves.

***

"Well," Black said, "it's 10 PM and we've hit all the houses I can think of. I think we can call it a night."

Everyone's bags were stuffed full of candy. It was enough to make a dentist faint and jump for joy at the same time.

"Black," Ruby said vaguely, "do you remember when you had amnesia?"

"Huh?!"

"Nevermind."

"We could still go to N's house," Leaf said, a gleam in her eye.

Everyone gasped. "No way!" Sapphire wailed. "N is SUCH a creeper!"

"He takes young girls and boys on Ferris Wheels," Soul whispered, her eyes wide. "And then he reveals…his secrets."

"What kind of secrets?" Diamond asked.

Soul shook her head and refused to answer.

"I say we go anyway," Leaf declared. "We're all together. What's the worst that could happen?"

Everyone turned to look at N's house, the last on the block. It sat ominously in a corner of its own, almost giving off its own dark aura.

It totally didn't look intimidating or anything.

"I say we go," Black said finally. "It's not like we'll actually have to go inside the house. Just stand out there and look cute."

"That's what he wants us to do," Soul whispered, eyes wide.

Of course, everyone ignored her and finally ended up standing on N's front porch.

"You ring it!" Platinum hissed.

"Huh?!" Diamond exclaimed. "No, you!"

"You!"

Finally, Ruby, feeling quite confused in the midst of the commotion as everyone argued about who would knock, took the initiative and did it for them.

Everyone froze mid-argument as the door slowly creaked open.

"I MUST LIBERATE ALL CANDY FROM TRAINERS!" N screamed. "I WILL MAKE ALL TRAINERS FREE THEIR CANDY, TO END THE CANDY'S SUFFERING!" He snatched away their bags of candy as the Trainers ran away screaming into the night.

N stood there on his patio for a few moments before Red silently appeared before him, still wearing his Pikachu costume. He looked up at N and nodded. N grinned.

"You're welcome, Red. Glad you could get your revenge on your buddies. They ditched you, did they? Well, now they know better."

Red nodded again before silently scooping up the bags of candy and quietly walking away with them into the darkness.

And no one ever did figure out why Red suddenly had to visit the dentist two days later.